The young ones. She's in Big serious trouble.

 

An overheard conversation.

Big Serious Trouble

 

I mean, I love him and all, but it’s just … that…

            He’s not the one for you?

No, he is. I think. God, I hope so. I know he is, but he’s lying to me.  I can feel it.

            Oh. Like intuition?

Yeah exactly. We know stuff. Like the other day, Thursday, he said he was really tired and wanted a quiet night. So I go, okay, fine, I won’t see him. I won’t even text him that much because I know he has to get up early for work. So we talk for like an hour, and then at about eight thirty or whatever, I let him go.

            Doing the right thing.

Exactly. And so I said good night and he said good night and like, I was pretty bored and everything, so I just went out for frozen yoghurt with Patricia. Then, get this, at about eleven thirty or something, I get this random text, saying like come over baby, I really want you now and all this shit.

            What the hell?

I know right? He was all horny and acting weird.

            He was drunk.

Well. That’s what I said. But he said I was crazy and laughed it off.

Did you go over?

No chance. I’m not falling for that shit. So the next day, he says he must have been half asleep. I don’t think he even remembered.

            Yep. Drunk.

I reckon too, but he said he wasn’t. He insisted.

So, where do you think he was?

Out with the boys maybe, I don’t know. I mean he sees them every Saturday afternoon at football so why does he have to see them during the week? He should be with me, right?

            You should kick his ass to the curb.

I’m his girlfriend. I should be enough.

            Hell, yeah. Selfish prick. Dump him, quick.

Nah. I’m gunna change him. Just wait and see.

 

This was written in 2013 but it's timeless. Despite changing attitudes and customs, people never change. If in doubt, read the ancient Greek philosophers. They understood people better than many today. 

The image at the top is AI generated by me (does that mean others can't create the same image with the same prompts?). 

Meditations on relationships

A.J. Langford Books

Hope you have a good week.

Peace

The fool's dream. Is it me?

 

Everyone's got a sob story.

I've been prone to bouts of melancholia and anxiety as far back as I can remember. There was no such diagnosis in the 70's and 80's, not in rural Australia anyway, and now that I'm in my 50's and still have them as companions, I'm likely stuck with them til the end. Hence this poem. (An image version at the bottom).

Endurance and acceptance are likely the two biggest allies to adopt. If you have additional ones, more than happy to hear them. (I've reluctantly started a new medication, not an anti-depressant and starting counselling this week). 

Therapy through writing.

The fool’s dream

 

I wake with the fear

And fall asleep with hope

Knowing reality

Rarely waits patiently between both.

 

When will I learn

That there’s nothing new to learn?

The fog settled in

A long time ago

I just can’t let go

Of the sweet concept

Of a better tomorrow.

 

It’s the calling

That keeps fools dreaming

Which I should be grateful for

As temporary fantasy

Remains a release

But I recognised the lie

So far back

That I can’t be party to it

Anymore.

 

 

20.9.23 7.20 pm

Edit   27.2.24

 

A.J. Langford Books

I have far more additional stress than September last year, hence the edit in Feb. I guess and the decision to post it now. 

We all have our bullshit to deal with. A lot of mine is within my head. No escaping that.

Anyway, smile and fake it and push on. Fuck it.

Peace.

The Eighth Wonder of the World - Part 7

 

 Eighth Wonder of the World

There are a few considered for the title.

Three are listed here. They are constructions rather than natural wonders.

Pre-1900 creations

Part Seven

Sigiriya 

Sigiriya or Sinhagiri (Lion Rock) is an ancient rock fortress located in the northern Matale District in Sri Lanka. It is a site of historical and archaeological significance that is dominated by a massive column of granite approximately 180 m (590 ft) high.

By Binuka poojan - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=90567505

It is likely that the area around Sigiriya was inhabited since prehistoric times. There is clear evidence that the many rock shelters and caves in the vicinity were occupied by Buddhist monks and ascetics from as early as the 3rd century BC.

By dronepicr - Sigiriya Luftbild, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=52016328

In 477 AD, Kashyapa I, seized the throne from King Dhatusena, following a coup. The rightful heir, Moggallana, fearing for his life, fled to South India. Afraid of an attack by Moggallana, Kashyapa moved the capital and his residence to the more secure Sigiriya. 

During King Kashyapa’s reign (477 to 495 AD), Sigiriya was developed into a complex city and fortress. Most of the elaborate constructions on the rock summit and around it, including defensive structures, palaces, and gardens, date from this period.

By Cherubino - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=30088456

The site contains the ruins of an upper palace located on the flat top of the rock. The lower palaces clings to the slopes below the rocks. The moats, walls and gardens of the palace extended for a few hundred metres from the base of the rock. The site was both a palace and a fortress. The upper palace on the top of the rock includes cisterns cut into the rock.

Statue of Liberty

The copper statue, a gift from the people of France, was designed by French sculptor Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi and its metal framework was built by Gustave Eiffel. The statue was built in France, shipped overseas in crates, and assembled on the completed pedestal on what was then called Bedloe's Island.

The statue was dedicated on October 28, 1886.

By User:Mcj1800 - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=84048565

I went there in 1990. You've probably been yourself. You can walk up inside and look out through the crown (or was it the eyes?) It was a long time ago now. Went up the Twin Towers the next day and stood on the roof. Watching Sept. 11 2001 happen live was horrific.

Stonehenge

www.flickr.com/photos/garethwiscombe/1071477228/in/photostream/, CC BY 2.0

Archaeologists believe that Stonehenge was constructed in several phases from around 3100 BC to 1600 BC, with the circle of large sarsen stones placed between 2600 BC and 2400 BC. The surrounding circular earth bank and ditch, which constitute the earliest phase of the monument, have been dated to about 3100 BC. Radiocarbon dating suggests that the bluestones were given their current positions between 2400 and 2200 BC, although they may have been at the site as early as 3000 BC.

The oldest known depiction of Stonehenge, from the second quarter of the 14th century. A giant helps Merlin build Stonehenge.

Many aspects of Stonehenge, such as how it was built and for what purposes it was used, remain subject to debate.

I went there in 1989. You could get much closer to it then than now. You've probably been there too. Not a lot to see, or wasn't then. ie no tourist centre. Or is memory failing me again? 

Still very interesting however and Bath is nearby, which is historically fascinating.

More in this Series HERE 

A.J. Langford Books

Sometimes, you’re the bit*h - a Video

 

AI generated for this post

I really like this poem. It was written way back in 2013 and appeared in that year's book, Caged Without Walls. I hope you enjoy this video version.

Dog Gone Days

Sometimes, you’re the bitch

You have to take the hits

Others you lay the boot in

Glad it’s not your turn.

.... 

(Watch HERE).

Or on a Laptop here. 

It's so dangerous out there!

Plus More Videos

A.J. Langford Books

The biggest step of all - (depression trigger warning).

I debated if I should share this or not. 

Large steps

 

If I choose

To kill myself

Despite the positives in my life

Despite the future unknown

Which may deliver better

It’s still my choice to make.

 

Undoubtedly misguided

In the overall scope of life

But entirely reasonable

In the short term.

Escape is attractive.

Clearly it’s not a brief solution

Or any solution

Other than a hasty emotional peak

Such is the nature

Of us.

 

Retrospect comes later

Not an inbuilt equaliser

Or people wouldn't explode

The way they do

Rarely

Is common sense a factor.

 

I simply hear that calling

More often

Than I’d like.

 

It’s always been there

But never so consistent

Over many months

If not all year.

 

It’s a big step

I know

I’m not ready to take the plunge

Though I am staring down

That hole

Enticed away from sturdy ground

And I don’t know why.

 

The chasm widens.

 

12.11.23

10.20 pm

I don't want pity or attention so please, no need to comment. It's trying to find voice to my feelings in a creative way. A form of therapy perhaps, I don't know. I'm happy at times and I'm seeking help to improve things. My girlfriend was pretty unwell and ended up in hospital around that time. A lot of stress with that and other things, which I won't go into. A major one being my anti-depressant struggle. That alone makes normal life a slog.

(I wrote this almost 8 years ago about suicide, particularly in regards to men. Not enough attention to men )

Riding with Death (1988): One of Jean-Michel Basquiat’s Last Paintings

I share it not for any delusions of 'raising awareness' or a 'cry for help'. In the same way I share other poetry and videos and fiction. A creative expression of emotion, embedded in truth. That's my thing. 

Like it, share it, but no need to comment. Thanks. 

Peace.

More Poetry

A.J. Langford Books

Waiting... In vain

 

I'm here for one last time...

AI generated, unique for this post




Waiting in Vain  -  A Short Video 








More Video Poems

A.J. Langford Books

My first poetry collection, 2013

Oh my God, its so dangerous out there

 

It's dangerous out there, in the First World Zone.

Living the dangerous life

 

Look,

I’m no pussy

But I will admit

I got scared

I’m an honest type

You see,

I do catch trains

At night

On my own

I do drive a car

On freeways

In busy periods

I do own a laptop

I do heat a wheat bag

On occasion, for my back

I own a heater

Gas and electric

I live in a house

Which could be invaded

And probably catch fire.

 

I eat things I probably shouldn’t

I occasionally eat at restaurants

And frequent

Local fruit markets

I drink too much

I spend time under the Australian sun

And walk on (potentially cracked) pavements

I catch Sydney taxis

Buses

And shopping mall escalators

I spend too much time

On the internet

And doing a thousand other things

I apparently shouldn’t

Though I suspect

My only real mistake

Is watching the TV News.

C. 2013

More Poetry

Days in Love - my latest video

My very talented friend, Dominic Kirwan has a new book of poetry out entitled, Spreading the Bad Word.

His work is phenomenal. Without bias, the best Australian poet I've ever encountered. Bold is an understatement. He's one of a kind.

"Dominic Kirwan’s latest collection of poetry, Spreading the Bad Word, is jaw-droppingly delicious. Let Kirwan introduce you to his unique world that is intimate, appalling, and delectable all at the same time.’ "

Check it out HERE

A.J. Langford Books

Days in love - A video

 

Days in Love

An original video

AI generated image, just for this post.

Watch HERE

or on laptop below

Video made in 2022, shared 2024.

More Videos

A romance of a very different kind.



Available at 
A.J. Langford Books

Stay strong or fake it. Tomorrow is another day. We push on.